Ventura County Senior Living

We live in a very mobile society where families don’t always live in the same town or even the same state for that matter. Unlike the “old days”, entire families throughout America don’t have the opportunity to come together every week for a Saturday BBQ or a Sunday dinner. These events are often replaced by phone calls to ‘check up’ on a loved one.

It is not uncommon for the adult children of seniors, especially the Baby Boomer generation, to have some concerns about how their parents are doing. In fact, according to the Family Caregiver’s Alliance, nearly 7 million Americans provide or manage care for a relative or friend over age 55 who lives at least an hour away.  Throughout the year, make good use of your phone call with your aging loved ones to review their living status.

In telephone conversations, gently probe for information about the person’s health and well-being.  Below is a list of sample questions that are key indicators or warning signs to help determine if your family members are in need of additional care or assistance:

What was eaten for breakfast?  If your loved one cannot remember what he/she ate for breakfast that morning, forgot to eat breakfast or the meal appears to lack nutritious value, a problem could be setting in.

Did you go to the beauty salon to get your hair cut?  Did you use the new shower gel I bought you?  These are good ‘backdoor’ questions to finding out whether or not your loved one is remembering to take care of his/her hygiene.  A lack of personal hygiene is often an early sign that your loved one may need a caregiver to aid in these tasks.

Did you give any thought to the conversation we had last night about Beth coming to visit you for the weekend?  If your loved one cannot remember the last conversation you had or is repeating stories, he/she may also be having difficulty when communicating with strangers (i.e. telephone repair man, bank teller, etc…).

Did you make it to your weekly bridge club game with the girls last week?  An early sign of depression is withdrawal from social activities.  A caregiver may provide the comfort that your loved one craves or encourage involvement in activities outside the home.

Does your parent seem over-confident by using reassuring phrases such as “You don’t need to worry about me” because of an underlying fear of being ‘found out’ and removed from his/her home?

If you sense a problem based on the above indicators, you and other family members should waste no time in taking the appropriate next steps. As difficult as the process might be, keep reminding yourself that by being proactive, as a result of your observations, you will not only provide safety for your family member, but will also keep them happy and healthy for years to come.

As a result of assisting hundreds of families throughout  this area during this difficult process, here is some advice based on the experiences we encounter every day while working with these families. Below are the next steps that you and your family should follow:

1. Discuss the situation with the individual - Don’t be afraid to ask or talk to your aging family members. Often seniors will not tell you if they are having trouble unless you ask. It is important to reassure seniors about your questions. They do not want to lose their independence and are afraid of being moved out of their home into a strange environment. Let them know about other care alternatives before you ask questions such as: Are you having trouble walking? Have you fallen? Do you have trouble driving at night?
2. Make a doctor’s appointment for the individual – Be sure and make the appointment when you, another family member or someone else can relay the concerns directly to the doctor. If you are not able to be there in person, schedule a time to call the doctor.  Sometimes these warning signs can be a direct result of outdated medication or perhaps a dosage that needs to be changed.
3. Determine what services are available in their community – Talk with their local social service agencies or community organizations such as  Senior Concerns or senior centers. It’s important to weigh all of your options when it comes to providing the best care for your family member.
4. Make minor adjustments in their lifestyle – It may be necessary to bring in outside help to provide companionship and to assist with daily activities such as meal preparation, light housekeeping, trips to their doctor’s appointments, etc.  These precautions and changes can be done while allowing your loved one to stay in the comfort of their own home.  Here are some questions to consider when selecting a caregiver:

5. 1. Is the care provider a home care agency, employment agency, registry/broker, or an independent contractor
   2. How long has the agency been providing private duty home care?
   3. How does the agency screen and select caregivers prior to an assignment?  Do they use independent contractors?  If independent contractors are used, the elderly person’s family is liable for injuries, and/or back taxes and penalties from the IRS.
   4. Are references and criminal backgrounds checked on all employees?
   5. Is there a health care professional, who along with the client and family develops an individualized plan of care? How are emergencies handled after normal business hours?
   6. How often are caregiver services monitored?
   7. Does the agency adhere to state and federal guidelines in their employment practices, such as: withholding appropriate taxes, providing workers’ compensation and other benefits?
   8. Does the agency manage all payroll and employee related matters?

6. Use this time to plan ahead for unforeseen events – This is good advice for everyone, not just seniors! Take this time to establish advanced directives including establishing a power of attorney, will, living will, etc. There is no such thing as being too prepared.
7. Use this time to plan ahead for unforeseen events – This is good advice for everyone, not just seniors! Take this time to establish advanced directives including establishing a power of attorney, will, living will, etc. There is no such thing as being too prepared.

Remember, by taking the time to address these issues before they reach the crisis stage, your family will have the much-needed sense of security, comfort and hopefully the ability to create new memories with your aging loved ones for many years to come!

About Comfort Keeper

Andy Smith and Ellen Smith are the owners of the  local office of Comfort Keepers, which  provides in-home non-medical care for aging adults, people with chronic illness, people recovering from surgery, and others needing assistance.  Services available include loving companionship, meal preparation, transportation, light housekeeping, grocery shopping,   personal care assistance, and more.  Founded in 1998 by a registered home health care nurse and her husband, Comfort Keepers has grown to over 600 locations worldwide. For more information about Comfort Keepers, visit www.comfortkeepers.com or call  805-494-990 or 805-389-4600 or 805-526-6000.